Enough Isn't Everything by K.L. Shandwick

BOOK 1

Lily’s friends in London regard her as having the whole package. Smart, beautiful, and musically talented, she’s finally realised her dream to study in the USA, by securing a music place at college in Miami. She regards herself as worldly, having lived the London life and travelled to Mumbai to work in an orphanage in the past, so felt more than able to cope with living and studying abroad.

On arrival in Florida, everything on the surface seems to be running to plan. That is, until a chance encounter on campus with a stunningly handsome, charismatic, rock-god-like musician, Alfie, leads her into a no-strings sexual relationship with him. Until she arrived in the USA, Lily had tried to avoid personal relationships with the opposite sex, not wanting anything to affect her plans. She was sexually naïve but after meeting Alfie, she convinces herself she’s able to deal with what Alfie is offering her. What follows takes Lily on a roller coaster of emotions and after a surprise visit from Max, her friend and room mate’s brother it leaves her questioning her morals.

At college Lily quickly teams up with Will, a handsome sax player, who helps her develop her creative ideas and performs with her as a duo in the Miami music scene. A series of bad choices in her relationships with Alfie, Max and Will, create emotional turmoil for Lily which leaves her doubting her judgement about men. Each of the three men has a special place in her heart for different reasons. She realises that she’s no match for Alfie and tries to resist his attention. He’s told her he can’t love her, but wants to be with her physically, arguing, sex between them is enough. The reality for Lily is she knows enough isn’t everything.

He pulled himself up and sat back on his heels, tracing his hands up to my rib cage and down my sides with the pads of his fingertips. I shivered and smiled softly, but winced at the same time, trying to squirm away from the pangs of pleasure and the ticklish sensation he was awakening in me. "I enjoy touching you, Lily." He smiled.

He was watching my reactions, smiling seductively at the effect he was having on me. The more aroused I became, the less inhibited I felt. My passion was building for him, and I wanted more than this.

My hands explored his beautiful, strong, hard body, and he shivered when I hit an erogenous zone just under his ribs on the side.

When I did this, a loud groan escaped. "Fuck, you're driving me crazy. I want you, so much." His voice was shaky and he threw his head back when I kept stroking his body.

BOOK 2

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Lily’s back on her home turf in London for Christmas, after a turbulent term, studying music in Miami. She wonders if her relationship with Will can survive their stupidity and what this means for their music collaboration. Lily realises all too late, that she’s fallen hard for Alfie despite his declaration to her that he can’t love her. This has left Lily devastated, knowing that the man she loves will never feel the same for her. Meanwhile, Alfie has continued his relentless pursuit of Lily to take what he wants from her, testing her resolve not to continue their relationship. She had found the strength to resist all of his advances, until the night before she flew home. After giving herself one last night with him, she fled across the Atlantic, thinking time and distance with family and friends would help heal her broken heart. What Lily never expected, was for her traumatic love life to follow her, both to London and Miami through the chapters of her life, during the following year. Her music career and studies improve tremendously though, fuelling her performance and personal identity, but her love life is as complex as ever. Alfie makes some disclosures which could be game changers for the both of them, and asks for her trust and time. Lily wonders if she should trust him, asking herself if Alfie could ever be, everything she needs?

Alfie was tentative at first, dancing in a restrained way. We'd danced together at Christmas so I knew how flirty he could get on the dance floor. I decided to take the initiative and grabbed his hips as we swayed together in time with the music.

He began to lose himself in the dance and found his natural rhythm, his hands moving over my body...

BOOK 3

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Lily's is moving forward after her break up with Alfie. Her journey continues through some extremely emotional times during key events, as she becomes more self- assured and begins to develop as an performing artist. It isn't easy for Lily to forget Alfie because of circumstances with Alfie's life. However, Lily is tortured by constant reminders of their time together, and this does little for her resolve to move on.

Although, Lily has made her choice, it is also tinged with sadness. Her love for Alfie remains strong, and she fights a constant internal battle, between loving him and loving her music. Lily thinks it's impossible to have both. A fabulous opportunity arises for Lily, but there is a possibility of this bringing her face to face with Alfie again. Can Lily cope with the emotional turmoil this would bring her? Or, is the risk of seeing Alfie something she feels able to manage now?

Musically, Lily concentrates her efforts much more, which brings success, post Alfie. Through this, she finds friends in some of the most unlikely of circumstances. All of her friends continue to protect her, and are all well aware of the impact Lily's relationship with Alfie has had on her. All apart from Elle, who gives Lily food for thought. Although, Lily's mind is still plagued with memories of Alfie, which continues to impact on her to such an extent, Lily has been unable to form new romantic ties. Professionally, her relationships couldn't be better. She is offered some amazing opportunities rarely available, and is determined to do make the most of them. This is especially important to her, given the sacrifices she has made in the past to do this.

Will Lily's music be enough for her, and prove to be everything she ever wanted?

His strong arms held me tightly, like he might never get the chance to do this again. The front of his hard body came flush with mine. I could feel he was aroused as he tilted his hips into mine. My body went stiff, and I fought with everything I had inside me to resist him, but I still craved the closeness with him.

Alfie let out a shuddery breath and kissed the skin on my neck before drawing his nose the length of it and letting me go. In my head I was telling myself to get out of there before something happened between us. Because if it did... I knew I'd be lost to him all over again.

I have lived my whole life with comments from both, relative strangers and close friends telling me I should write a book. People continually tell me I have an ability to tell a story and make even the mundane sound interesting. (I’m personally not aware of that.)

The thought of doing this, was something I never thought I would entertain, because being dyslexic, during my childhood and adolescence, I found it very difficult to get past how to spell something, never mind how coherent the sentence sounded. So writing a few paragraphs usually made me sweat.

As a child I discovered coping strategies and developed my own ways of getting by, I wasn’t stupid by any stretch of the imagination, but left school at fifteen without any academic qualifications. I wasn't diagnosed with dyslexia until I attended university at the age of thirty.

(Both of my children were diagnosed with dyslexia, one at the age of seven and one much later, although, I could see my traits present in him, and both have excelled academically in their chosen professions.

Thanks to the invention of the computer and information technology, my world changed. I learned how to communicate in written form effectively, not afraid to use language present in my oral skills that were lacking in my written work, for fear of spelling them wrongly, which gave me the confidence to write the books. Had I, had to write a book on paper, I know I would never have finished the first page.

I recently discovered the joy of writing after a challenge by a friend, which turned into three books. As I am constantly challenging others to face their demons, I decided, after some persuasion, to brave it out and share the books with others. I don’t have any expectations for them other than to tell the story.

This was a huge step for me, and took courage because there are so many fabulous clever people out there, writing amazing pieces of work that sadly, very few people ever see.

My work: I have had the pleasure (and the drama) of working in The National Health Service and in an independent capacity for Social Services in the UK for many years. My work has been supporting many women, children, young people, and families during this time. Sometimes, this has been at some of the toughest or most vulnerable times in their lives.

During this time I have observed the communications of all parties involved both, in their relationships with others and how their decisions affect the subsequent outcomes for them and others. I have shared in the births and in the deaths of some of these people, and I never take advantage of the privilege my position brings me.

People ask what does the K.L. stand for K.L. Shandwick is a pseudonym. This isn’t to ‘hide’ behind, (I am not ashamed of what I’ve written), but to afford my clients the appropriate level of confidentiality by association. So, K L stands for KL. I am an independent author, who presently self publishes through kindle, but I hope to have a print copy of my books shortly.